Kaleidescope Heart
by Raven's Favorite Emotion
Summary: He could really use a wish right now. Beast Boy/Raven


**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Teen Titans **_**or the song 'Airplanes' by B.O.B. ft. Hayley Williams, which is kind of what gave me the idea.**

**Dedication: I don't know who to really dedicate this too. I said that I'd dedicate every story to someone, though, so this is going to be difficult. I dedicate this to all of the **_**Teen Titans **_**fan out there, because this show is one of the best cartoons that have been made in a long time. Word. **

_Kaleidescope Heart_

_A One-Shot_

"Where's the Grass Stain?" Cyborg asks, holding the latest video game in a series of video games about monkeys in his hands, the box still covered in a clear plastic sheet, unopened and infinite hours of wasted time seem to almost tremble underneath the cover.

"I do not know," Starfire answers, clasping her hands together and she bites the inside of her cheek, her eyebrows meeting in the middle. A cloud of light purple, the color of worry, swirls around her face and drifts in her hair before disappearing when she sees Robin enter the room, because he'll have the answers. He always does. "I have not seen him all day, ever since the fan mail came in."

"He got a letter this morning. He's just thinking it over guys. Leave him alone." This is what Robin would want, and so of course he's extending the same courtesy to Beast Boy that he would request himself.

What he doesn't realize is that Beast Boy has never been the type to be able to handle being by himself for long and especially not while he's going through the type of anguish that I can feel coming off him in waves, even when he's all the way outside.

I saw the way that he gripped the letter so tightly in his hand that his knuckles turned white after he finished reading it, and I could tell that it wasn't just some fan letter from a stalker. His face closed off expression, looking scarily like mine on its worst day, the emotions around his head moving as though I was looking through a kaleidescope. The colors weren't pleasant to look at when they were those shades and those hues all mixed together and scattered throughout the air because they were so out of control.

I know where he is, but I refuse to add to the conversation. If I told them that he was just outside, less than a football field away, they'd probably all rush to him. Once they realized that he was upset Starfire would probably want to help him. Even though usually she helps us because she understands emotions and what can trigger them although she's no empath, I know that he is going to need a gentler touch.

I know where he is, and I'm not telling.

I continue to look at my book, the words beginning to blur and run together as though the ink was seeping off the pages and running off the page. They all expect me to say something, but my lips are shut tight and I pretend as though I'm ignoring them. It's worked on them before, even though they all should know by now that I can read and listen at the same time.

I'll go to him eventually. I should probably go to him now. He's going to drive himself crazy if he's left alone for much longer. Beast Boy puts up a good front of being cheerful to the point of being annoying. He acts sunny enough to blind, even though we all know that the light isn't natural. He's plugged in and one false move and he'll pull himself out of the socket.

He's strong, yet fragile. Dark and yet light. He's a contradiction to himself, and probably the one person that I will never completely figure out on my own.

With a sigh I shut my book and put it underneath my arm. I know what I have to do. "Going to bed, Raven?" Robin asks, sitting at one of the stools at the counter of the kitchen.

"Not quite," I mumble, loud enough for him to hear me but with a warning tone that says _don't follow me_.

I walk outside. It's cold. I can't repress the shiver that comes out and I wrap my cloak tighter around myself, hoping that the wind won't take it off again. His emotions have calmed down some, he's probably found a resolution to whatever problem has come to him in this letter, but I can still find him.

I know that he's still going to want to talk about it, whatever _it _is.

In the dark I can't see the colors that have always been in my world, it's part of the reason that in my room, that little safe haven, the lights are almost always off. I can't see the colors, but I can still feel the emotions and the silhouette that his curved back makes in the dim light of the moon.

I know that he can hear me coming. His animal senses are sharper than even my demon ones and I'm not exactly levitating over here. But he doesn't do anything that lets me know that he senses me behind him.

He's a creature of habit. Beast Boy comes out here to the rocks whenever he has to think, and this is no exception. He has been in his room all day thinking about this, but never getting a clear answer. So he comes out here, the clear ocean air helping to sharpen his mind. The way that the ocean hits the rocks is soothing to him.

The pebbles grind against the large boulders underneath my feet. I make sure he hears them and this time he turns around. When he sees me he doesn't smile or offer me some kind of silly joke. Instead he bites his lip and turns around again so that I can't see the war going on underneath the pigment of his eyes.

I go over to where he is and sit next to him. He doesn't try to scoot away. Instead he scoots closer to me, and for a moment I can see a bright pink, slightly muted because the night is dark and emotions are faint, form around his face. It's the color of love.

No matter how hard he tries to repress or hide it I can still tell how he feels about me. It slips out eventually and sometimes I can feel it seeping inside of me, feeding me good feelings instead of the so many bad that I occasionally can get, whether it be from in public or inside the tower.

I'm slightly frightened by it, but I push the feelings that I get in response, as well the thoughts, back further into the wall that I've created for such things. This is no time to dwell on things that could change in an instant.

I'm not going to ask if he's okay, and he knows that. Instead I put my face in my hand and look at him as I wait for him to start talking. The stars glimmer in his eyes.

"When I was little and we still lived in Africa," Beast Boy starts, still looking at the sky, "my father and I used to play this game where we used to hide from one another and we used to try to scare the other person. It used to be from behind doors mostly, or from the trees. We used to get my mother on accident sometimes, and she'd always be the one to scream loudest."

Beast Boy smiles at the memory and I stay silent because when he talks about his real family its a rare thing and if for a second I make a wrong room I may just scare him away. "And we'd always say 'Gotcha!' whenever we scared someone."

Paper rustles and I realize that he still has the letter in his hand. It's wrinkled and crumpled in some places and there are marks on it that let me know that he probably hasn't let it go all day. "And right now I feel like he's pulled the biggest Gotcha on me in the world."

Silently he offers me the paper and silently I take it from him and begin to read, my eyes slowly adjusting to the dim light that the half moon provides. _Dear Mr. Garfield M. Logan, we are now privy to information that may be extremely important to you... _

I read the letter in silence, not showing how surprised and angry I am inside. His parents are alive. Beast Boy has had over ten years of grief and self hatred over something that was never even true in the first place.

How could this even happen? What if it is a lie? This would break Beast Boy further, perhaps even crushing the facade that he had spent years building. There are so many things swirling and whirling inside of me that I can't name just one. The US Government has a lot to explain.

Instead I just hand him the letter back and don't speak. "What do you think that I should do about it?" Beast Boy asks. He's always come to me for advice the way that the others often go to Robin. I'm not sure what to say.

"Do you think that this is real?" I finally say, answering a question with a question.

"I don't know. But if it is... Do I really want to miss that opportunity? They could be _alive._" His eyes are desperate and I realize that maybe he doesn't have things worked out in his mind after all. "I've missed them so much," he whispers, sounding broken.

Without thinking I grab his hand and squeeze it. I have seen Starfire do this to Robin many times, but I have never felt the urge to do it to anyone myself. I never pictured myself in a situation where this gesture might be needed. But now I've found myself in the middle of one, and I realize that the worst thing in the world might not be giving someone physical comfort after all.

I blush a bit at my own audacity, but then I let it go. This is nothing compared to the hug I gave him two years ago. He blushes back, and we don't look at one another but I realize that he doesn't let go of my hand and that I don't bother to pull it away.

"I think that you should go," I finally say, answering his question from the beginning of our conversation. "Just in case."

Beast Boy nods but doesn't say anything, and that's just fine with me. We watch the night sky, and I see an airplane pass us by, most likely filled with expensive people or things that we will never get to see because of who we are.

"I'm going to," he promises. "And I'm going to find them. But first, I want make a wish so that I know that I'm not going to be wasting my time."

"A wish?"

"Yeah, on that shooting star," he answers, pointing up at the sky.

"That's a airplane, Beast Boy," I chide gently. His hand is warm on mine. I'm finally not cold anymore.

"I know," he says. "I just want you to make a wish for me. Can you do that? Please?"

I feel a little foolish wishing on something that is so obviously man made and unwishable, but I do it anyway. I close my eyes and wish for the things that I can't have, like the boy beside me, and I wish for the safety of others, like Mark and Marie Logan.

And then I wish for him, and I hope with all of my heart, the one that is a little out of practice when it comes to hoping, this is the one wish of mine that actually comes true.

**A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! And if you don't celebrate Halloween then I hope that you're having a nice Sunday/Monday/whatever day it is where you live. I hope that you guys all enjoyed this trip into Raven's head, and actually in universe. Writing her in first person In Universe is different than writing in in an AU, but it was still fun and a bit different. **

**I wrote this In Universe because I haven't written any IU Beast Boy/Raven in a while. I haven't written much of IU **_**anything **_**in a while, and it worried me deeply. Hopefully everyone is In Character (that worries me a bit) but I hope that you all enjoyed... and I'm out. **


End file.
